The campaign by Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, to become an independent member of the European Parliament continues to develop not necessarily to his advantage. Yesterday, The Great Man had a day off, and is believed to have gone to see Luton Town play in the afternoon. But today he was supposed to be back on the campaign trail. The problem for him was that he wasn’t.
At 1000 hours today, Lennon was scheduled to be somewhere in the vicinity of Eccles Shopping Centre. He was still somewhere in the South East. This afternoon, he was scheduled to be in the North Manchester suburb of Prestwich. Thus far, he hasn’t been there either - and the session was due to end at 1600 hours. As far as is known, no stand-in was sent to cover for him. So the events just haven’t happened.
This may save the local McDonalds and Burger King from having to rustle up lots of milkshakes at short notice, but this is not how to get the electorate to put their cross next to your name come the big day later in the month. So Lennon needed a pretty good excuse in order to convince his devoted followers that he hadn’t just had a few too many scoops last night and decided to have a lie in this morning. And so it came to pass.
Someone over-egging Lennon's pudding, eh Danny?
His minder Daniel Thomas, the amateur comedy kidnapper, already revealed as the main culprit in the beating-up of two passers-by in Warrington last week, broke the news late this morning. “Tommy Robinson received yet another Osman warning from the police, yet still no one has been arrested, questioned or prosecuted!!! Does the state want him dead??” If they did, he wouldn’t be around to rabbit on about it. So what’s the deal?
Lennon can be seen claiming “I’ve had to wait this morning for … an emergency meeting with the Police about my safety … they want me to sign a form, that they have intelligence that someone’s going to murder me on my campaign trail”. Apart from Lennon’s hilarious inability to recognise and repeat the word “indemnify” (proper D P Gumby it was), it’s then nothing more than him reading out from what he claims is a letter from the cops.
He then whines that the Police have “refused to act” on “three attacks against me” (one of which used the deadly weapon known as the strawberry milkshake) … “they refused to make an arrest … I can’t take any action to resolve the matter”. Taking the law into your own hands is unlawful - hey, who knew? And he suggests that if he did have information identifying those responsible, he wouldn’t give it to the cops.
Finally, though, the mask drops and we see just how serious this threat to his wellbeing really is. “Anyway, we’re now leaving - back to the North West”. If there really had been a serious threat to Lennon’s wellbeing, he wouldn’t have just left his family and set off on a 200 mile journey to a series of events where he will be on public view.
(c) Doc Hackenbush 2019
His adoring public won’t be adoring forever if all he does is make excuses that fall apart when subjected to a little real-world scrutiny. More like his minder was worried about getting lifted by Cheshire Police after being filmed assaulting others in Warrington.
Still, he’s in Blackpool for the Bank Holiday tomorrow. With all those ale houses open all day, what could possibly go wrong? We may be about to find out.
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