Self publicity: it is the lodestar by which former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan sets his course. Whether it is generating faux outrage at vegan sausage rolls, wading into the debate on trans issues, or pretending that he knows one end of the EU from the other, Morgan is always ready to sound off. After all, he’s got more than six and a half million Twitter followers, y’know. Many of whom follow him for the unintentional hilarity.
The latest wheeze by The Great Man has been to try and make himself look relevant to all those New Left Media people. Sensing that some of that demographic might be foolish enough to add to his Twitter army, Morgan decided to go after Novara Media senior editor Ash Sarkar. Sadly, this was a campaign destined to develop not necessarily to his advantage, as Ms Sarkar made short work of his attentions.
Morgan’s opportunity came when she Tweeted “Mate, this footage got me laid like crazy. I regret nothing”. This must have been his doing! So off he went: “Communist boasts of getting more sex from arguing with me on TV”. Good to see Morgan did not pretend that what happened on Good Morning Britain was an interview. After all, he couldn’t interview his way out of a paper bag, and sadly, it shows.
The Morgan interview technique veers between the grovelingly sycophantic - as seen on Life Stories, which is no more than a cheap knock-off of This Is Your Life, but without the surprise element - and his tendency to shout down interviewees, as he tried unsuccessfully with Ms Sarkar. Interviewers should be looking to elicit information from their subjects. Morgan has already made his mind up beforehand. Not a good look.
He probably thought his counter to her was dead good, but the comeback showed otherwise: “Stop trying to inject yourself into my sex life, Piers. It ain’t gonna happen”. Along with this, there were plenty of Tweeters quoting the Mash Report cartoon which depicted Morgan with his tongue up Combover Crybaby Donald Trump’s arse.
Nor did other hopeful interventions, with one warning Ms Sarkar “@piersmorgan would ruin you”, to which she countered “I’ve no doubt, he’s proved exceptionally adept at ruining himself”. But still The Great Man came back for more. He would have been better advised injecting some actual facts into his next Mail Online column.
On that “injecting himself into her sex life”, he pitched “Only in your dreams, darling. And my nightmares”. Sexist, much? But Ms Sarkar was ready and waiting. “Swing and a miss! Not to worry, more reliable info about my personal life can be found in my voicemails”. OUCH! Perhaps Morgan never hacked phones himself, but those who indulged in that particular Dark Art reckon he knew plenty of people who did.
Why Piers Morgan tried to put one over on Ash Sarkar is a mystery: she’s hardly going to be a fan after his performance in that edition of GMB. And his own fans - well, those who aren’t following him to laugh at him - aren’t going to follow her.
Also, he got made to look like an old man trying to play a young people’s game. There comes a time when you have to admit you’re not Down With The Kids.
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Christ, the mere notion of Morgan (or, say, Bozo Johnson) On The Job is enough to cure any young woman suffering sweet, romantic inclinations.
ReplyDeleteI bet both Morgan and Johnson have an arse like a blood orange.