Ever ready to raise funds for those out on the far right, with no doubt a cut from the operation for the benefit of Himself Personally Now, Rebel Media supremo Ezra Levant has organised a cruise along the River Danube next June, where the lucky few guests will embark in Germany, and wend their way through Austria and Slovakia before ending their journey somewhere near the Hungarian capital of Budapest.
Ezra Levant realises this is not his best ever idea
Levant tells his adoring flock “I’d like to announce an amazing opportunity to spend a week with some of our most interesting Rebel personalities … We’ve done these Rebel cruises before - on giant ships in the Caribbean. But this one is different - this is a small boat, with just 68 cabins. We’ll have it all to ourselves, just for our private group … It’s going to be beautiful and scenic - we’ll stop in a half dozen ports along the way, and get off the boat and go into the cities. But it’s much more than just tourism”.
But lots of operators offer Danube cruises, so what’s different about this one? “Your favourite Rebel personalities will be on the boat. The unstoppable Katie Hopkins will be with us. The great scholar Daniel Pipes, from the Middle East Forum. And I’ve spoken with Tommy Robinson, and he has signed up to come too”.
Viewers may still want to look away now
The presence of Stephen Yaxley Lennon, who styles himself Tommy Robinson, is no doubt conditional on his not being in the nick at the time. But do go on. “We’ll also meet with local political leaders of democratic political groups who are working to preserve western civilization and values”. Meaning far right bigots like themselves.
It all sounds so enticing, until those little details are considered. Like the ticket price: as Politico has pointed out, “Prices for the week-long trip begin at $3,590”. And that’s before punters who are not local to any of the countries concerned factor in their travel to the starting point, from the end point, and their spending money for the week.
Don't worry, it'll be someone else's fault
Would you spend between £4,500 and £5,000 for the dubious privilege of being cooped up with Lennon and Hatey Katie for a week? Moreover, look at the dates for this cruise - June 9 to 17. The height of summer. In the Danube basin. What does that mean, exactly?
Well, the Danube basin is bordered by fertile and productive farmland. With the warm weather, it will also be heavily populated by mosquitoes. Yes, the little biters proliferate all the way downstream from somewhere West of Vienna, all the way to Budapest.
Also on board. Thousands of them
And the Rebel Cruise will be right in the middle of it. Which means that, by the time the party arrives in Bratislava, city of plentiful, inexpensive and moderately strong beer, the effects of being unable to get away from Lennon, Ms Hopkins and the rest, together with the nightly attention of all those mosquitoes, will make a perfect recipe for things to kick off big time. And the advance notice means there will be lots of people on hand to watch.
By the time Levant and his pals get to Vienna, opposition will be building. A quick train ride and they’ll be waiting for the party in Bratislava. And by Budapest, the spectator sport will be in full swing. The potential for disaster is off the scale.
The Danube Rebel Cruise will be a great success. But maybe not for its participants.
Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at
Given the itinerary, this basket of despicables may encounter The Willows.
ReplyDeleteSo he has arranged rebel cruises on "giant" ships in the Caribbean? IF a cruise company was willing to hire out one of their ships (unlikely as they are timetabled for cruises a couple of years in advance) it would cost an absolute fortune. Millions in fact. Mind you this river cruise does seem like fun, as if it does go ahead, it sounds like it will end in an almighty punch up.
ReplyDeleteShip of fools. :)
ReplyDeleteWhy hasn't Farage joined this party of nastzis?
ReplyDeleteJust think of him and Hopkins sharing a cabin.
Oh my aching sides.
On board a mosquito infested, pimped-up barge with Yaxley-Lennon and Kate NoBrain - What fun.
ReplyDeleteI can't see the problem. No self-respecting mosquito would want to bite them
ReplyDeleteAnn. A block booking on a cruise probably. I wouldn't be surprised if large cruise ships have conference rooms for hire.
ReplyDeleteEzra Levant looking not unlike Russell T Davies there
ReplyDeletePerhaps some kindly French fishermen would be willing to divert a fishing boat or two to the general vicinity...
ReplyDeleteThe SS Rightmanic.
ReplyDeleteIts not as if its actually a real cruise ship... its an over sized barge.
ReplyDeleteFour to five grand to have a boat trip...
Ha, its going to be awesome watching the punch ups from the banks of the river.
i/ Think you used a picture of Alan Carr by mistake...!
ReplyDeleteDoes he have the same irritating voice?
ii/ Be nice to think that with the pinnacle of fascism aboard it could prove quiet for the rest of us – except the buggers will be tweeting about what a good time they’re having, drinking copiously and preaching to the converted. Maybe we could crowdfund someone to go with them and pull the plug after the tradional recreation of a Weimar Republic beer hall evening, when they are all distracted with their heads down the, erm, heads. Glug, glug.
iii/ How much is it normally to float down the Danube? 68 cabins, you say: guess they know their potential customers. Might be good for those who live in a basement who don’t get out much (sitting in their cabins, looking out the porthole, will be almost like staring at their monitor at home) but will they be able to afford the price? Hopefully Robinson will be able to participate, after a fashion, from his cell – it might be just like sitting in his cabin on board. Be amusing if the boat was crewed with East Europeans, just to see Hatey grind her teeth flat at having to deal with a few of the wrong sort of foreigners.
iv/ Personalities? Oo-er, that is going beyond what most of us can imagine and might even be libellous.
I know it will be summer but can we arrange for an iceberg to be towed in and strategically placed somewhere?
ReplyDeleteCarry on up the Danube, I can see the headlines on the BBC, Far Right Yobs arrested in drunken violence on board cruise liner.
ReplyDeleteStumbled upon this by accident. What a load of rubbish, obviously written and commented on by George Soros supporters, who want to sell out their countries to the EU. Yack!
ReplyDelete