Nigel Farage Will Not Return

While Tories continue to digest and discuss Theresa May’s Brexit negotiating stance, which caused David Davis to wake up and resign, then saw London’s formerly very occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson also throw in the towel for reasons of personal advancement, those outside the party committed to the hardest conceivable Brexit imaginable were registering their displeasure.

Squeaky excuse generation finger up the bum time

And no-one is better at registering pointless displeasure than former UKIP Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, who used the platform given to him by broadcaster LBC to pass severely adverse comment on what he declared to be Ms May’s sell-out to the dastardly foreigners in Brussels. It was such a serious sell-out, he declared, that it was likely to see him return to front-line politics.

This came as a surprise to all those in front-line politics, as Mr Thirsty had never been there in the first place, unless one interprets “front-line politics” as “doing the rounds of TV studios while reeling off packs of lies in order to score More And Bigger Paycheques For Himself Personally Now”. But Farage’s claims have been faithfully reported, nonetheless.

The Evening Standard coverage was typical. “Nigel Farage has said the government’s ‘sell out’ on Brexit may leave him with no choice other than to return as UKIP leader … Mr Farage said it is something ‘he never thought he would do’, but plans to stand again as the party leader when current leader Gerard Batten’s term ends in March next year … Making the announcement, Farage blasted Theresa May and her government, calling the Prime Minister ‘appalling.’” He’d know all about “appalling” leaders.

Here’s what he had to say for himself. “I will add to that tonight. Gerard Batten, who is the leader of UKIP and has my confidence and support - his term as leader comes to an end in March of next year … There will be a leadership contest within UKIP in March next year. If Brexit is not back on track, if we're not actually going to be leaving and if this Chequers agreement has not been broken, I will very seriously consider putting my name forward to run as leader of UKIP again”. Note wriggle room. So he’s bluffing.

Farage is as full of crap as ever, even having the brass neck to claim “I never wanted a career in politics”. He wanted the attention and the money; politics was where he got both. And what Mr Thirsty did not tell anyone interviewing him - so I will - is that there is a good reason he might be looking for alternative sources of income right now.

My information is that LBC have decided not to renew his contract. As I noted last week, if former BBC stalwart Eddie Mair is to be accommodated within the station’s weekday schedule, one of the existing presenters will have to go. It seems the someone is Farage. This will give him the chance to save face, tell his followers he is “exploring new opportunities”, or “looking for a change”, if only in the underwear department.

Sadly, as so often, our free and fearless press, rather than tell it like it is and say that the former head Kipper is all washed up, is reduced to taking dictation once more. Nigel Farage won’t be returning to UKIP either - the big money has gone, the EU is wise to all the expense fiddles, and the voters won’t thank him for screwing up the UK economy.

Nigel Farage is yesterday’s man. Just rejoice at that news.