Guido Wipes Bozza’s Backside

With his weapons grade blunder over claiming to have been told that the nerve agent used in the Salisbury poisoning came from Russia, when its origin wasn’t known, our comedy Foreign Secretary Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has fouled up royally. Worse for him, the whole world now knows he has fouled up royally.

But help is at hand: his pals in the media establishment have put the word out to deflect blame from Bozza the clown, and somehow instead blame the Civil Service, while shoring up Theresa May’s tottering Government. We know this as the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog have brought forth the first instalment of this misinformation offensive, penned by teaboy Alex “Billy Liar” Wickham.

Under the headline “Weapons Grade Clusterf**k”, readers are told “Got to hand it to this government, who true to form have managed to turn the one positive narrative they’ve had in months into a total omnishambles. This incorrect FCO tweet from two weeks ago claiming Porton Down experts had determined the Novichok was made in Russia has been deleted. Whichever FCO mandarin who tried to disappear this tweet to cover up their incompetence has properly landed everyone else in it”. The FCO mandarin did it!

“Russia was clearly responsible for the attack on the Skripals - as the Porton Down scientist said yesterday it had to be a state actor - and the intelligence obviously points to Russia. Yet Gary Aitkenhead’s interview was a total PR disaster, giving out the misleading top line that the government can’t be sure it was Russia. Why did the MoD let this broadcast novice in front of the cameras?” It was the Porton Down man’s fault, too!

There’s more: “Just when May had succeeded in getting the international community on board - one of her best achievements to date - they have conjured doubt where there should be none. Russia is already taking full advantage, gleefully tweeting out the deleted FCO screengrab and making out the British government lied. Corbynistas are echoing the conspiratorial Kremlin line and claiming this proves Seumas and Corbyn were right all along. All the grown ups in Whitehall are on holiday as the UK’s position internationally becomes needlessly undermined. What a mess”. You certainly are, Alex.

Milk, no sugar, hold the smears

The foul-up is Bozza’s doing. Porton Down has been consistent: it identified the nerve agent as a Novichok, and that was all. Aitkenhead misled no-one; that was Bozza’s doing. The only one who should be taking the rap for this is Bozza. If anyone precipitated a PR disaster, it was Bozza. The only incompetence has been from Bozza. Any perceived Omnishambles is down to Bozza. The only broadcast novice has been Bozza.

So who just happens to be missing completely from the Fawkes apologia? Yes, you guessed it, Bozza. Bozza the clown has been miraculously airbrushed out of what is arguably his most spectacular screw-up. Because word has gone out from those in the press establishment watching his back, and the Fawkes teaboy has complied.

Wickham has even had the brass neck to credit Paul Waugh for a screen grab of the deleted Tweet from the FO, while missing that Waugh followed it with “This looks very embarrassing for Boris Johnson”. Such is the level of desperation to keep Bozza from walking the plank, and maybe taking the Government down with him. Well, I have news for the Fawkes rabble: it ain’t making it. Another fine mess, once again.