Farage Fish Farce Flops

Nothing, but nothing, better illustrates the level to which the Brexit debate has sunk than the charade played out this morning on the River Thames opposite the Palace of Westminster, where a group of Europhobic idiots - one has to stop short of favouring them with the title of “Politicians” - rocked up in a fishing boat and proceeded to throw dead fish overboard, rather than themselves, which would have undoubtedly been more popular.

Squeaky Whale Oil finger up the bum time

This alleged protest at Theresa May’s latest series of abject capitulations to the EU side on how the transition period will play out did not get off to the best of starts: the Honourable Member for times long past Jacob Rees Mogg was unable to board the boat. But the likes of Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, still drawing his MEP’s salary and accruing his pension while distancing himself from the UKIP shit-show, were raring to go.

And so it came to pass that Farage, who turned up to just one fisheries committee meeting at the European Parliament out of 42, became the centre of a yet More And Bigger Self-Promotion Opportunity For Himself Personally Now, ostentatiously chucking fish into the river while no-one on board, or in the watching media, thought to check if anyone in Parliament was even bothering to look out the window at the non-spectacle.

There was a brief moment of levity, with Niall Paterson of Sky News musing “Nigel Farage is basically forcibly repatriating fish, isn’t he?” But his colleague Faisal Islam reminded us all that the hardcore Europhobes are once again attempting to be the tail that wags the dog: “Rees Mogg, @RossThomson_MP @bernardjenkin and 11 other mainly Tory ERG coastal MPs write to PM re fishing saying draft Withdrawal Agreement ‘would be rejected by Commons’ & UK ‘must not remain party to CFP during proposed implementation period’”. But they won’t dare bring down Theresa May, and she knows it.

What this group of clowns also knows full well is that fisheries account for just 0.3% of the total UK economy. If the UK does not secure the transition period deal, rather more than that will be on its way to mainland Europe and we will be even more screwed than we are anyway. Not that Farage and Rees Mogg care - They’re All Right Jack.

Instead, hacks treated the charade seriously, while it was left to Emma Kennedy to ask what should have been asked of Mr Thirsty and his pals: “I wonder if a single journalist interviewing @Nigel_Farage today is going to ask him why he failed to turn up 42 times to the Fishing Commission he was supposed to be part of as his job as MEP. So far: nil”.

And while the hacks deferred to the politicians, observers did not. Gary Lineker, guaranteeing himself more hatred from our free and fearless press, suggested “Rarely have 2 such slimey, smelly, slippery creatures held on to some fish”. And Niall Paterson responded honestly to someone mentioning the Monty Python fish dance “In all honesty, is this any less farcical than what’s currently happening on the Thames?”

Another crappy publicity stunt, another show of obedience by too much of the media. Meanwhile, that same media is telling anyone who will listen that they should not, under any circumstances, look at the Cambridge Analytica scandal. No change there, then.