Toby Young Lesbian Lust Shame

While the loathsome Toby Young, aided and abetted by some of the most unsavoury right-wingers known to humankind, continues to protest his suitability for board membership of the new Office for Students and clings on by his fingernails, and deletes his Twitter back catalogue by the tens of thousands - not quickly enough, as Zelo Street readers will already have realised - his less than illustrious past continues to haunt him.

One facet of his past witterings that Tobes has been keen to correct has been his attitude towards the LGBT community. “For the record, I’m a supporter of women’s rights and LGBT rights. Indeed, I was a supporter of gay marriage and debated Nigel Farage on the topic in public” he tells. But he still wrote “In latest post for @TelegraphBlogs I argue that every gay and lesbian Conservative MP should come out of the closet". And his attitude towards the L part of LGBT has been little short of shameful.

We know this as Tobes put his name to a GQ article titled “I was a Lesbian for a Night”, where he explains helpfully “As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a lesbian”. Then he claims “Most men fantasize about spying on lesbians; I want to be one. So I became one”. Anyone wanted to spy on lesbians? No, me neither. But do go on.

So Tobes disguised himself as a woman, which was probably not unlike Some Like It Hot, except for the lack of humour. And off he went for his first encounter.

“The first stop was Ruby Fruit on Hudson Street. The women in Ruby Fruit are not what you'd call lipstick lesbians. They're hard-core dykes. I'd been warned by several veterans of the New York gay scene that if the denizens of Ruby Fruit discovered I was a man there was a good chance they'd beat the crap out of me … Several of them looked like German shot-puters [sic]”. This is a Government appointee talking, in case you forgot.

There was more. His next stop was “Henrietta Hudson. On Friday nights Henrietta Hudson turns into the G Spot which, according to The New York Press, is full of ‘cute downtown lesbians.’ I wasn't disappointed. The dance floor was heaving with gorgeous young lesbians rubbing up against each other and sticking their tongues down each other's throats”. A Government appointee responsible for co-founding a Free School.

He wasn’t finished. “The final stop was Mother on 14th Street which plays host to the Clit Club. Inside the atmosphere was electric. Lithe young bodies writhed around on the dance floor as Latin house music was pumped out of the PA system. The place was so packed it was almost impossible to move”. Sadly, one of those present recognised the clown, even with his make-up and wig. It seems that not even the most sophisticated camouflage can mask that Tobes je ne sais quoi which screams “Bellend” to all around him.

I’m sure The Great Man will have a suitable explanation for all of this. But all it says to me is that he’s got a sad and perverted streak and should not be let near any group of people who have a different sexual orientation from his own. That’s in addition to all the women he shouldn’t be allowed near, after all those Twitter excursions telling of “boobs”, “knockers”, “baps”, masturbation, and the rest. This idiot is not fit to be paid from the public purse.

And there will be more less than welcoming news coming soon. Hint.