Do Not Arise, Sir Nigel

Even before Christmas has been and gone, the speculation and leaks begin as to who will be, and who will not be, receiving gongs in the New Year’s Honours List. This time, the news is on one person who will not be achieving recognition this way, and rightly so. That is because this name in the frame is none other than former UKIP Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage. His fans are not best pleased.

Squeaky no K finger up the bum time

The joke newspaper that is the Express was distraught: “Nigel Farage SLAMS Remainer establishment after being SNUBBED AGAIN for Brexit knighthood … NIGEL Farage has lambasted the British establishment after being overlooked again for a knighthood despite his monumental role in delivering Brexit” it whines plaintively. And there was more.

“The former Ukip leader has confirmed that he will not be receiving the honour from the Queen when this year’s New Year’s honours are announced next week … Speaking of the revelation, Mr Farage said: ‘Of course I have not got an honour of any kind - I am not a Remainer … Everyone of them got CBEs, they got knighthoods, quite extraordinary. I have got a Brexmas present far more important than the honour’”.

And what would that present be? “A campaign to get back British [blue] passports has been successful. I held that passport up every day [during the referendum campaign] so I couldn't be happier”. Yeah, right. Our citizens get dumped in the “Other Passports” queue, we might have to apply for visas, the economy is heading south, we’re an international laughing stock, but Nige is happy because he can have a Blue Passport.

Whine, Sir?

What makes this charade worse - Farage whines at the establishment but wants so much to join their ranks - is that there are some who think he deserved the honour. Although we can dismiss the blubbering creep Raheem “call me Ray” Kassam sniffing “Shock horror, @theresa_may and the remainer establishment fail to honour the most successful UK political figure in a generation - AGAIN. There’s a special place in hell for these people”, some who should know better think Farage really deserves it.

Tim Shipman of the Murdoch Sunday Times has declared that “Also, I’d give Farage a knighthood by the way. Most effective single issue politician of his generation. I suspect this will happen after March 2019 when everyone has calmed down a bit”. So let me put him, and all Mr Thirsty’s cheerleaders, straight on exactly what The Great Man deserves.

Wrong, wrong, wrong

Nigel Farage has been caught fiddling his European Parliament expenses. He is a person of interest to the FBI. He is widely believed to be a Russian asset. He is utterly and completely without principle, other than the continued enrichment of Himself Personally Now - hence he detests the EU so much that he will willingly accept a £70,000 plus a year pension from them. He’s a lush. He’s a congenital liar. And he is no patriot.

Had he been one, he would do what was best for the UK. But Farage is not about doing the best for the UK - only what is best for him. You wouldn’t have given Al Capone a knighthood, nor any of the Great Train Robbers. Farage is just as much a thief as they were. So stop the pretence. He’s not worth paying in washers, and he’s not worth a K.

The honours system may be bust - but it’s not that badly bust.