Karen Danczuk - Not Really Racist

One of the saddest sights in the media landscape is to see those wannabes who have not made it, and never will, but who are unable or unwilling to take the bad news on board. And one of those who most certainly is never going to make it is Karen Danczuk, no longer able to depend on her ex-husband as a way in with the tabloid press. But reality has not yet been allowed to dent Kazza’s boundless ambition.

Karen Danczuk - has much to be modest about

Someone, somewhere must be able to find a suitable Sleb role for Kazza. So off she has gone in the wake of the Barcelona attack to dispense her questionable wisdom to a less than totally adoring Twittersphere. The only problem, though - apart from her ending up no nearer to becoming the next Housewife Superstar - is that she has found herself looking like a pale imitation of pro-am motormouth Katie Hopkins - with even less talent.

Still, she gets A for effort, even if it is occasionally difficult to decipher. “Is anyone else thinking what I am? Close all borders, send the boats back & stop the ‘political correctness’ world we live in!” Er, what? Quite apart from the slogan working even less well than it did for the Tories in 2005, how will sending boats back somewhere stop terrorism? And how do you close a sea border? Her tirade was, to no surprise at all, not well received.

What also caused her campaign to progress not necessarily to her advantage was her inability to tell her Twitter followers what on earth she was talking about. “The left will say it's ‘our duty’ I say when they start showing us respect & stop killing us, accepting our way of life we will talk!” This appears to confuse refugees with terrorists, and as at least one of the Barcelona attackers was a Spanish national … she’s not thought this through.

This was evident in not just the response to her “I’m not racist, honestly” schtick, but also her inability to handle it. “So i'm ‘a racist’ because I speak common sense. Those killing us are ‘a minority’ That's how it works doesn't it?” she snapped at one dissenter. How is being a bigot who can’t get her argument straight “common sense”? Still, the English had not been too shonky so far, but with Kazza, you just need to give it time.

And after one Tweeter suggested that the only people who were thinking what she was thinking were Nigel “Thirsty” Farage and Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, the English did indeed turn shonky. “I'd check Twitter and replies to my tweet darling. Millions think it … but people like you call us racist instead of condemning terrorist”. Could we have a translation of that? Still, she had one trick left to pull.

That was to latch on to someone who really is well-known, in this case Bradford West MP Naz Shah, who had passed adverse comment on the Daily Mail. “You call yourself a survivor. Are saying you were a victim of child sexual abuse or just using the term loosely?” demanded Kazza. But quite apart from her making no sense, Ms Shah was not for entertaining her. And so Kazza still failed to become a star.

Nor will she become one by playing a Poundshop Katie Hopkins. But perhaps there could be a vacancy for her down the local Asda. One has to know one’s limitations.