Sun Doesn’t Know What It’s Doing

In an echo of their predecessors slavering at the prospect of Mrs T winning a landslide victory in 1983 - “Make it soon, make it June” was their message back then - the Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun are keenly anticipating a Tory victory in a June General Election. “May’s Election Bombshell … PM’s snap poll will kill off Labour … She’ll smash rebel Tories too … Bid for clear Brexit mandate … BLUE MURDER” they rant.

And to prove that the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker have their fingers on the political pulse, there is also a suitably fawning interview given by Theresa May to the Sun’s non-bullying political editor Tom Newton Dunn, with readers told “We need an election now to deliver Brexit as rebels are trying to subvert will of the people ‘every step of the way’, Theresa May says in exclusive chat with The Sun”.

Yeah, stuff that namby-pamby democracy rubbish, this is about subversion! But remember, readers, who has access: “The 60-year-old Prime Minister spoke to The Sun from her Downing Street study, giving her first election newspaper interview to the nation’s most popular newspaper”. And there is Newton Dunn, asking Madam if there is anything she might like to share with his humble newspaper’s obedient readers.

Overpaid and out of touch tosser interviews PM

On top of that, today’s Sun editorial tells anyone not yet asleep that they knew all along a snap General Election was on the way: “The case to go to the country has been plain ever since she landed the top job”. There was, though, as Captain Blackadder might have observed, only one thing wrong with this idea - it was bollocks.

We know this because of the mystical art known as “five minutes’ Googling”, which tells us exactly how plain the case was to the Murdoch goons. Consider, for instance, “Seven reasons why Theresa May will not call a General Election in 2017 despite Brexit legal defeat … Poll fever has gripped Westminster again but our Political Editor explains why it isn’t going to happen” from last November. And look at who wrote it.

Yes, the hack telling Sun readers “POLL fever has gripped Westminster for the third time in less than two years with bookies slashing the odds on there being an early general election called next year … But save your money folks. It won’t happen” was none other than the same Tom Newton Dunn who just fetched up in Downing Street to interview Theresa May and pretend he knows what he’s talking about.

And another out of touch tosser, just to make sure

He wasn’t the only one: late last month, the Sun told readers “Downing Street rules OUT a snap election as senior Tories urge the PM to force another vote this summer ‘to head off Brexit constitutional crisis’”, and on the same day, the paper’s alleged “Westminster Correspondent”, the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, claimed “'IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN' Theresa May says NO to a snap election as Tories fear Lib Dem Remainers could win extra seats … THERESA May ruled out a snap election and it can be revealed Tory MPs had begged the Prime Minister NOT to go to the country in an early poll”.

Fingers on the political pulse? These tossers wouldn’t know the political pulse if it jumped up and kicked them in the undercarriage. The Sun’s hacks don’t know what they’re doing.

Save your pennies for something more deserving - don’t buy the Sun.