Guido Fawked - Danczuk Apologist

The challenge of remaining sober enough during the pre-Christmas drinking season to churn out coherent copy appears to be taking its toll on the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, who have brought forth a particularly rank and steaming bovine bowel movement in the form of another “story” about Rochdale’s still nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk, who remains suspended from the party.

Spanker Si was suspended at the end of last year, after the revelations concerning his “sexting” a 17-year-old girl were splashed all over the Super Soaraway Currant Bun. He has hardly covered himself in glory since, what with humping a 22-year-old companion over the table in his constituency office, the split from Tory Councillor Louise Dickens over his infidelity, and the violent Spanish bust-up with former wife Karen.

None of this is allowed to enter as The Great Guido tells readers “Labour Whips Intervene In Danczuk Impasse … Danczuk Suspension Still Unresolved”, going on to claim “Simon Danczuk remains suspended from the Labour Party for his spanking sexts. Christmas will mark a year since he had the whip withdrawn. He has been subject to a painstakingly slow internal ‘investigation’ into his conduct which is yet to report”. And there’s more.

“Guido understands Danczuk’s office is requesting a meeting with Jeremy Corbyn in order to ‘clear the air’ - an idea suggested by opposition chief whip Nick Brown, who intervened to confirm Danczuk’s status in case of a snap election. Danczuk has now been waiting three weeks for a meeting date but has been stonewalled by the leader’s office”. Really?

Then comes “Another Labour MP tells Guido the delay shows the party is ‘unconcerned’ about holding onto Danczuk’s seat. Team Corbyn are happy to reinstate anti-Semites to Labour but are bottling making a decision on one of his critics”. Where does one start with this pile of bullshit? Well, here on Zelo Street we have the right tale.

And that is that there would be stuff all point in Spanker having a meeting with Jezza, because he has no influence on, and is not about to intervene in, an internal inquiry which is progressing slowly mainly because the party wants to be seen to give Danczuk the benefit of due process, and also because Danczuk has complained every step of the way. The Fawkes rabble ought to know this, as Danczuk is their most likely source.

It gets worse: local party members in Rochdale have also, I’m told, given up on Danczuk and his name has been taken off the Christmas card list, to be replaced with that of … Andy Burnham, whom Danczuk inexplicably detests. As to the idea that Labour is “unconcerned” at holding on to Rochdale, someone really is talking out of their hat.

Unless the local Lib Dems get their act back together very swiftly, there is zero chance of a Labour candidate who is not Simon Danczuk losing it next time round. Which means The Great Guido’s source isn’t an MP from the area - who briefed them is uncertain, but if you’re a betting person, Spanker’s pal Michael Dugher may be worth a punt.

And, Fawkes folks, don’t come the “anti-Semites” crap when your anti-Semitic tropes aimed at Ed Miliband are still live, and you ignored the anti-Semitic abuse suffered by Luciana Berger. Get a second source when Spanker briefs you. Another fine mess.