Danczuk To UKIP? Er, No

[Update at end of post]

After the Mail On Sunday’s not even slightly celebrated blues artiste Whinging Dan Hodges was conned recently into suggesting that Rochdale’s still nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk might jump ship before being pushed and force a by-election as an Independent, one might have thought that those who scrabble around the dunghill that is Grubstreet would stop and think before making this ridiculous suggestion again.

Since last year’s General Election, Danczuk’s reputation in his constituency has well and truly gone down the pan. The only opposition that was anywhere close, UKIP, is in disarray as it fights money, leadership and credibility problems. Yet there is the MoS once again asking “Could Simon Danczuk be the new Nigel Farage?” QTWTAIN.

But do go on. “The colourful MP, who has been suspended from the Labour Party for more than ten months over allegations of ‘sexting’ a teenager, has told friends he will do something ‘drastic’ if his case is not resolved soon, such as switching to the Kippers and forcing a by-election”. And what use would that be?

“‘His Rochdale constituency is a Ukip heartland, and he would instantly become the leadership favourite,’ a chum warns. Don’t rule it out – Ukip likes hard-drinking mavericks with controversial private lives”. Let’s take this nice and slowly, shall we? First off, whoever writes this drivel should have made a few enquiries of people who actually live in Rochdale, rather than inhabit the Westminster bubble.

Danczuk would not “instantly become the leadership favourite”. He couldn’t lead the proverbial horse to water. He’s too busy chasing two things - the next quick shag, and of course More And Bigger Paycheques For Himself Personally Now. And as for UKIP liking “hard-drinking mavericks”, it’s not up to UKIP and its membership who gets elected as MP for Rochdale. It’s the local electorate. And here the Kippers have a problem.

Rochdale is not, repeat not, repeat NOT “a UKIP heartland”. The only reason the Kippers did as well as they did last year was because the Lib Dem vote collapsed. There is also the Asian community to consider, and they need a Kipper representing them like a hole in the head. Anyone who knew Danczuk’s constituency would know that he has been assiduous in cultivating them, especially those of Bangladeshi origin.

That, of course, is why he’s got himself in hot water with the current régime in that country, by suggesting that the Government is not legitimate and cosying up to the Bangladesh National Party - you know, Mail hacks, the cosying up that involved all those men-only meetings, that you usually rant about disparagingly. No, the MoS story is yet more complete crap, and it’s probably come from Danczuk himself.

The only reason Simon Danczuk would jump ship to UKIP would be if he was expelled from Labour, or knew expulsion was on the way. It would be one last desperate throw of the dice. Right now he’s about as popular as a turd in a swimming pool.

[UPDATE 24 October 1345 hours: David Winder, who is vice-chairman of UKIP's Rochdale, Heywood and Middleton branch, has contacted Rochdale Online to quash the idea of Simon Danczuk being accepted by the Kippers.

He does not hold back: "The reason that I got involved with UKIP locally was because of this man and the circus he surrounds himself with, which I feel has done nothing but cast our town in a bad light ... In my opinion he isn't fit to represent this town or its people ... Danczuk is not welcome in UKIP locally and never will be as we prefer our candidates to be in it for the electorate and not in it for themselves". And he shows an excellent appreciation of Spanker Si's priorities.

"Danczuk has proven time and time again that he speaks for himself first, his bank balance second and his urges third. The electorate are way down his list and we in UKIP want nothing to do with him".

So there you are, Mail On Sunday people - wrong again. The local Kippers don't want Danczuk, and it's doubtful any other political party would take a different stance if offered him as a member.

Why the Westminster media can't find this out shows just how out of touch they are]