Michael Gove - EU Pants Are On Fire

Once again, the Murdoch Sun is the unofficial mouthpiece of the campaign to persuade voters that Britain should leave the EU. Thus it is that three prominent members of the Vote Leave campaign - Labour MP Gisela Stuart, former very occasional Mayor of London Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, and education secretary Micheal “Oiky” Gove, have penned an article telling Sun readers of their vision for Britain outside the EU.

Yes, "Oiky", the fire extinguisher is for you

This is all that the most discerning connoisseur of dishonesty could wish for: “The NHS will be stronger, class sizes smaller and taxes lower … We’ll have more money to spend on our priorities, wages will be higher and fuel bills will be lower … Leaving is good news for the next generation”. Yes, older voters, you can shit all over your kids without feeling any pangs of conscience over them having to clear up the mess.

The list of promises just keeps on growing: “Our children will find it easier to get a good school place, healthcare and a home”. How? The Tories have had six years to improve all of those, and the EU hasn’t stood in their way. Readers are asked plaintively “How many children will miss their first choice of school?” As many as the lack of planning allows - which also has bugger all to do with the EU.

But then it gets seriously dishonest, as Bozza and “Oiky” - who is supposed to be a member of the cabinet - “today promise to scrap VAT on household energy bills if Britain backs a Brexit … leaving the EU will allow ministers to bin the unfair and damaging’ £2 billion a year tax on gas and electricity prices … Writing exclusively for the Sun, the Tory ‘Out’ campaigners promise: ‘Fuel bills will be lower for everyone’”.

Why do I instantly conclude that Gove is in need of the nearest fire extinguisher? Simples. This is a politician who has previously voted to increase VAT. His maths are so shaky that he has actually suggested that it is possible for all schools to be above average (yes, someone put in charge of education thought that). He is part of a campaign that has been reduced to warning about smelly foreigners in the back of lorries.

Moreover, Gove’s main partner in crime Bozza has an abysmal record of breaking his promises, or, as many people like to call it, lying. A comprehensive list of those Mayoral failings can be seen at politics.co.uk - the only reason the whopper Bozza twice told about the Tramlink extension to Crystal Palace was omitted is that Adam Bienkov only had so much time and space to allocate to the former Mayor’s misdeeds.

On top of that, the money paid in EU contributions has been promised to several other good causes already (not least the NHS and farmers). And nobody seems to have noticed that all those people working on the new trade agreements that would be necessary if Britain left the EU are clearly expected to work for nothing.

“Oiky” Gove and Bozza are a pair of unprincipled charlatans. Their combination of ineptitude and venality is the only thing that marks them out as exceptional. But they are both journalists by career choice, so the press gives them a free pass.