Karen Danczuk - You’ve Been Hoaxed

A most interesting email exchange has arrived on Zelo Street, and, as it appears genuine, solves a mystery that taxed even the hacks at the Daily Mail, although taxing the capabilities of the Dacre doggies isn’t, sadly, a difficult thing nowadays. It concerns the now-estranged wife of nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk, and her apparently unsuccessful attempt to flog a date with her last Valentine’s Day, to raise money for charity.

Karen Danczuk: do not pass Go, do not collect £20,000, and do not go to Dubai

On February 11, the Mail told “Labour MP's selfie-loving wife Karen Danczuk offers herself up for a Valentine's night out - and bidding already tops £10,000”, only to follow up with the news that “it seems the winner of the charity night out with selfie-loving councillor Karen Danczuk, 31, had a better offer as he has rescheduled their date until next month”.

Why that should be is explained by the email exchange, initiated by one Phil McCracken, who told Kazza “Greetings from sunny Dubai. I hope your [sic] well. Could you please give me some idea on the current level of bidding? I am prepared to bid £20,000 providing you are available to fly to Dubai for our date. I will cover the cost of return business class flights and accommodation for 3 nights unless you could [sic] like to stay longer. Lets me [sic] it happen”. The shonky grammar should have given it away, BUT.

Back came Kazza: “Wow if you bid £20k you will be the highest bidder and yes because it is for charity I would come to Dubai. Please let me know if you wish to proceed”.

“Phil” reeled her in a little more: “Profuse apologises for the late reply. Of course, I'd like to proceed and I am excited for the opportunity to have you here and show you the sights. If you'd like to sent [sic] account details of where the payment is to go with the IBAN number etc, I can arrange transfer of funds. If you want to throw some dates at me, I can make the arrangements”. Back to Kazza!

“Wow that's great!!! So I guess I'm coming Dubai?? Can you please give me your number. It might be easier over whatsapp. The charity will also ring you direct with payment details is that ok? In terms of dates, you tell me when you were thinking if you like?”

And “Phil” carried on: “I am sorry I am have come back to you a little sooner but it is rather hectic here and I have had a lot of workouts to supervise at Meydan today for Sheikh Fahad bin Hadi ahead of Super Saturday at Nads which you will be here for if the dates work out. Are you free on Monday morning? I could do 2pm on Monday Dubai time which is 10am GNT. Do these dates and flights work for you given your media commitments? Hope so because I am sure given the media interest in Super Saturday, Al Jazeera would love to do a piece. My concierge could speak to you on Monday to finalise the arrangements. I assume the Burj works for you”.

Er, hello Karen?!?

But enough. Phil McCracken (sounds like Fill My Crack In (Geddit?!?!?)) is a joke name, if not on the same level as Sillius Soddus or Biggus Dickus. There is no Sheikh Fahad bin Hadi (you’ve bin hadi - geddit?!?). There was no 10am GNT (Gin’n’Tonic time - geddit?!?) phone call. It was a hoaxer from north Manchester.

Yesterday, Kazza Tweeted “Does anyone actually reply to those emails from the bank of Africa telling them a random person has left millions to them in their Will??” That’s an awfully draughty glasshouse someone is standing in right now. Isn’t it, Karen?