Simon Danczuk - You’re Full Of Crap

Following last week’s General Election results, there have been plenty of people more than willing to give the media their ninepence worth about what the Labour Party should now do. And demonstrating that he is never backward in coming forward with his not always sage advice on this and any other subject is Rochdale’s self-promoting and nominally Labour MP Simon Danczuk.

Behold the elected representatives of Themselves Personally Now

In this, he has been aided and abetted by Rupe’s downmarket troops at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun, who are into serious politics, you understand, and not merely wanting to exploit the tendency of Danczuk’s wife Karen to expose her cleavage. Perish the thought! And so it was that the Sun’s non-bullying political editor Tom Newton Dunn told the world that his paper had an exclusive.

He's going to run ...

“Simon Danczuk to run for Labour deputy leader in bid to block union pal Tom Watson, reveals @steve_hawkes” told Newton Dunn, to the sound of Watson rolling around the floor and looking like an extra from the Smash advert. There is only one party that Simon Danczuk is likely to lead this side of hell freezing over, and that is the one dedicated to the promotion of Himself Personally Now.

... or maybe not

Indeed, Danczuk later went on Iain Dale’s LBC show, and, as producer Matt Harris told via Twitter, “On running for Dep Leader @SimonDanczuk tells @IainDale: ‘I've been encouraged to do that but not sure whether I've come to it too late’”. This means (a) the Sun was wrong to say he was running, and (b) he’s already back-pedalling furiously. And that means this is just another self-promotion exercise.

Then everything went beyond silly, as Harris Tweeted “@SimonDanczuk tells @IainDale 'Labour is too London-centric...will Chuka appeal to people in Bury?’”. Yeah, right. Who’s the Labour leader going to be up against? Young Dave or his successor. Does Cameron appeal to people in Bury? It’s a pointless and stupid question. But typical of Danczuk.

It got worse: “@SimonDanczuk tells @IainDale ‘Labour does need to move away from this metropolitan comfort zone, the party has been too London-centric’”. Stop right there. Who was it that went to sup with the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog? That would be the Danczuks. A more London-centric activity would be difficult to imagine. And don’t try pulling that “Metropolitan” crap.

Here’s the first sentence of the Wiki entry for Danczuk’s constituency: “The constituency is one of two covering the Metropolitan Borough of Rochdale”. METROPOLITAN BOROUGH OF ROCHDALE. Simon Danczuk talks moaning drivel about “appealing to people in Bury” (where he is, er, not an MP). He’s got no room to call “London-centric” or “Metropolitan” on anyone - because he is both.

As Billy Connolly once said, there’s going to be some swearing. Simon Danczuk, you’re full of self-promoting crap. Just f*** off out of it and take your clowning elsewhere.