Dan Hodges Disses Milibrand

So the chat between Russell Brand and Mil The Younger was made available on YouTube, and was received predictably: those who cannot stop whinging at every move Miliband makes, every utterance, every press release, every decision, these people just carried right on whinging. And there is no greater anti-Miliband whinger that the Telegraph’s not even slightly celebrated blues artiste Whinging Dan Hodges.

Hodges is, you have to remember, a real, proper and serious journalist, and not someone who spends most of his waking hours spewing out weapons grade Miliband-bashing troll copy: indeed, anyone taking him to task is the one doing the trolling. This must be true because he says so, along with blubbering when someone he doesn’t like gets a profile piece in the Guardian. So what did this less than sage individual say about Milibrand?

Well, it was rubbish, and Dan was so clued up that he knew this before he had seen it: “Labour starting to talking down the Brand interview. Ominous”. Who? We don’t find that out. Not that he made it up, you understand. Dan has “sources”. And “Labour pushing out ‘Ed The Movie’ on same day as ‘Ed/Russell The Movie’ indicates they're not happy with the Brand interview”. Which is wrong, as they were released on different days.

Still, details, eh? There was still something fishy about the interview: “Been told full Russell Brand interview now been pushed back to the weekend. Can anyone confirm this?” Not very good, these “sources”, are they? How about a tribute to one of Dan’s pals? “Labour's obsession with Lynton Crosby -  a man no ordinary voter has ever heard of - is testament to just how effective he's been”. Yes, let’s say something totally meaningless.

Equally daft was the assertion “SNP winning every seat. Ed and Russell. It's like David Cameron is writing the script for the closing stages of this campaign”. Were the SNP to win all 59 Scottish seats, and promise to keep Dave out of Downing Street, it would be testament to the most wrong-headed screenwriting of all. But, contrary to his earlier information, Hodges was able to announce “It’s up. Here we go”.

Yes? Yes yes? Yes yes yes? “No major screw ups from Ed. But the medium is the message. And the message I got is ‘Ed Miliband likes sitting opposite ranting lunatics’”. Aw bless, just like his hero Bozza - if in doubt, get out the mental health smear. And don’t disagree with him: “Independent on Ed/Brand: ‘The interview with Russell Brand that could well win Ed Miliband the General Election’. Actual headline. No spoof”.

Yeah, Ed was still rubbish! And his approach was also rubbish: “People tweeting ‘Under 25s will get it’. Great. If all over 25s are banned from watching TV or reading papers for next 24 hours, job done”. They don’t read papers, Dan. That’s the problem you and your masters can’t crack. Final thought? “Just wrote the line ‘Ed Miliband could be leading the country next Friday’. Sort of brought me up short”.

I should think it did bring the clown up short: next Friday is May 1st, and the election is not until May 7th. But don’t forget, you must be reverent and respectful with Dan Hodges. After all, he’s a real, proper journalist. I suspect he ranks as high as any in Rome.