Jeremy Clarkson - Pointless Petition

Not that he cursed his team, or anything like that, but the still suspended Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson took advantage of his newly-acquired spare time to watch Chelsea play Paris St Germain in a Champions’ League match yesterday evening - which José Mourinho’s merry men managed to lose, bundling them out of the competition and making the Premiership a must-win for them.

Watching currency symbols flying across his field of vision

Jezza is getting plenty of column inches devoted to what is now being reported as his dissatisfaction at not being able to tuck into a hot steak dinner. For being told that he would have to make do with a cold meat platter or a bar snack, he is alleged to have “smacked” a producer. Most mere mortals would have reacted to the news that the chef had already gone home with a shrug and a smile. Such is stardom.

But for some out there on the right, allegations of violent conduct have not dissuaded them from piling in on Jezza’s behalf: a petition to “Bring Back Clarkson” - interestingly phrased, as he has not yet “gone” - was started by the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog. The petition has - fair play to the Fawkes folks - garnered more than 500,000 signatures, which begs one question.

Clarkson has been accused of violent conduct. And here is what the Fawkes folks said about that sort of thing five years ago: “Poor communication skills do not explain the widely reported acts of violent rage, poor communication skills do not explain the bizarre behaviour, the appalling mistreatment of junior staff or the violent Nokia chucking abuse towards aides”. Violence was, at that time, A Very Bad Thing Indeed.

Of course, there is only an allegation at present levelled against Jezza. But what the Fawkes rabble said about Pa Broon, the subject of that post, was also the stuff of hearsay and allegation. One would hate to think that this is another exhibition of hypocrisy being used to get their name in the press and on to broadcast news reports. And this petition will have little effect, not least because its subject does not seem fussed at leaving the BBC.

As the Independent has reported, “Clarkson is reportedly considering quitting the BBC, even if he is cleared of’ the allegations, going on to tell “His relationship with key BBC executives has sunk so low that he is unsure it can be salvaged, a source close to the presenter told Radio Times”. And the Corporation is moving quickly to convene a disciplinary panel to consider Clarkson’s recent conduct.

Radio Times again: “Ken MacQuarrie, the head of BBC Scotland, is to chair the disciplinary panel that will assess claims that the Top Gear presenter punched producer Oisin Tymon last week”. That’s a second way in which a petition will prove ineffective. A third is the less than subtle lobbying on Jezza’s behalf from Young Dave, whose past membership of the Bullingdon Club is well known.

If he goes, he goes. The BBC has had to make these decisions before. On many well-known occasions, it has made the right call. End of story.