Don’t Menshn TV Debates

Proving once again that those who dispense punditry for the Super Soaraway Currant Bun do not have their columns fact checked has come another steaming pile of bovine by-product from yesterday’s edition of the paper. Although the paper is secreted away behind a paywall, a Zelo Street source has made extracts available to me (see how that works, Rupe?), showing another rant by (thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch.

(c) Doc Hackenbush 2014

And she’s been talking about TV debates - but making the usual level of sense. Starting at the very beginning - a very good place to start - readers are told “My opinion on the TV debates? We can do without them”. Very good of you Ms M., so that’s all, then, is it? Sadly, no it isn’t: “When did we turn into a bargain-basement America?” she demands, seemingly oblivious to the inconvenient fact coming round the corner.

We had the TV debates last time because of one party, and one party leader: that party was the Tories, and the leader Young Dave (it’s rumoured that the one egging Cameron on was none other than Andy Coulson). Dave wanted the debates to show how much better he was than Pa Broon. It was Ms Mensch’s party that pushed for the debates, but predictable that she should pretend otherwise now.

It gets worse: “Look at last time. The spectacularly useless Nick Clegg was so new to the public that the nation saw him as a ‘fresh face’ and the Lib Dems soared to major status”. Hello Louise! You remember that time when you were an MP? Which party was it that went into a Coalition with yours and so enabled you to sit on the Government benches in the Commons? That would be the “spectacularly useless” Lib Dems.

And then we come to the thorny question of who gets into the debates, and Ms Mensch goes yet further off piste. Nigel “Thirsty” Farage is swatted away, and the SNP is for some reason given highly favourable treatment: “Nicola Sturgeon’s real People’s Army from Scotland ha a chance of 40 seats”. Hello again Louise! There’s a thing called First Past The Post, which might not be too helpful on that front.

But she’s off and running: “It’s no good … saying ‘They aren’t a UK party’ [nobody has - the correct term, O English Language and Literature graduate, is ‘UK wide’] … they will govern and we’ve a right to hear them”. Will govern? Going to win, are they? And here’s another whopper: “there are no UK parties [missing that ‘wide’ again], as the Tories and Labour don’t stand in Northern Ireland”. The Tories stood there in 2010.

And then comes the final porkie: “we should get a chance to see Ed Miliband squirm as he’s forced to tell viewers  live why he’ll let Scottish MPs vote on English-only laws but not the other way round”. That would be interesting to see, as he hasn’t taken that position. Mil The Younger does, however, want that question considered by all parties, and not just used for cheap party political gain by the Tories.

Still, she gets paid, and Fox News may yet come calling, so that’s all right, then.