Don’t Menshn Leaders’ Debates

Now that Young Dave has let the world know that he is trying to wriggle out of taking part in the Leaders’ debates in the run-up to the General Election, the spin has to start. The Tories have to find an excuse, however lame, to justify his decision. Of course, if the Greens are invited along, he may decide to take part, but it is becoming more obvious by the hour that Cameron is merely using Natalie Bennett as cover.

(c) Doc Hackenbush 2014

So who is going to be first out of the blocks with the spin? How about the Tory Party chairman? Sadly, from Grant “Spiv” Shapps there has been not a dickybird. And there has been nothing on the subject from the @CCHQPress Twitter feed too. Nor has Cameron’s own account said anything. On the subject which has got the commentariat talking across the political spectrum, the Tories have fallen silent.

Won’t anyone put their head above the parapet? You betcha, says Sarah: ever ready to make a pointless sacrifice, (thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch has decided to deploy the strategy she knows best, and that is, if in doubt, just make it up. “I hear that [Ed Miliband] has stated to broadcasters that he won’t appear on TV if he has to debate [Natalie Bennett]”. Get the fire extinguisher, someone.

Why should that be necessary? Because Ms Mensch has just set her trousers alight, that’s why. And, as the man said, there’s more: “The difference between [David Cameron] and [Ed Miliband] - the former will debate Nigel Farage, the latter won’t debate Natalie Bennett”. Er, Hello Louise! Ed has not said anything about Ms Bennett, and right now it looks like it’s Dave who won’t debate anyone.

But never mind that Miliband hasn’t said what she wants everyone to think he said, on she ploughs, clearly unaware of such inconvenient things as facts. Now she plays her (sadly faux) feminist card: “Of course [Ed Miliband] is probably terrified of having to debate a woman in that sausage-fest on stage”. Hello again Louise! The one getting himself in trouble for blatant sexism at PMQs is your man, not Ed.

So now Ms Mensch has gone beyond merely lying, and is doubling down on the fantasy. Despite her Twitter audience becoming increasingly sceptical, she trilled “[Ed Miliband] is adapting his campaign theme song from Kermit’s ‘It’s Not Easy Fleeing Green’”. Laugh? I thought I’d never start. And she really, really believes her own fantasy.

This could be seen when it was suggested to her that it was Cameron who had decided not to do the debates. “No he hasn’t! He’ll do them if the Greens [Natalie Bennett] gets airtime due - but [Ed Miliband] won’t debate her - has refused”. And, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, the Greens don’t have a place “due” to them, although they may be invited. And two, her pants are still on fire.

Remember, Louise Mensch was allowed to become an MP. One can only hope that all parties have tightened up on their candidate selection this time round.