Rupert Murdoch Channels Glenda Slagg

After his rambling rant at followers of The Prophet, which I observed yesterday, his staff have still failed to wrestle control of Rupert Murdoch’s Twitter account from his still warm hands. The result is that Private Eye’s Glenda Slagg, unable to decide whether to praise or condemn (“dontcha love him” typically followed by “arentcha sick of him”) has taken over as he ponders world events.

Twitter, Rupe - put it down!

And, for Creepy Uncle Rupe, there can be no greater world event than Page 3 of the Super Soaraway Currant Bun. There have been less of the topless models of late, with sleb photo shoots often being favoured. “Brit feminists bang on forever about Page 3. I bet [they] never buy [the] paper. I think old fashioned but readers seem to disagree” he observed. So it’s “Page 3 – dontcha love it?!?”

Or maybe not: “Page 3 again. Aren’t beautiful young women in at least some fashionable clothes? Your opinions please”. About turn – now it’s “Page 3 – arentcha sick of it?!?” Is it on the way out? Paging Harriet Harman!

The Glenda indecision is also affecting Rupe’s take on Scottish independence, which on Sunday he favoured unequivocally. “Bigger problem! Wrestling with Scottish vote [he doesn’t have one, remember]. Scottish Sun No 1. Head over heart, or maybe both just lead to same conclusion”. So that’s “Yes vote – dontcha love it?!?”

Well, perhaps it isn’t, as almost immediately afterwards he muses “Scots better people than to be dependents of London. Hard choice with real pain for some time. Maybe too much”. That must mean it’s now “Yes vote – dontcha hate it?!?”

Of course, he could just have got it totally wrong, which he then does when pondering the career trajectory of one of his former employees. “Piers Morgan seems unemployed after failing to attract any audience in US. Seemed out of place. Once talented, now safe to ignore”. HE JUST STARTED A NEW SERIES OF LIFE STORIES ON ITV. Wake up Don Rupioni!

Murdoch does seem to be rambling rather a lot right now: “Generations of Scottish preacher forefathers came from beautiful northern fishing village, Rosehearty. Now totally silted up. Sad”. It’s like Citizen Kane re-enacted: “Rosebud ... Rosebud”.

Is that what Alex Salmond is banking on – that Rupe has to take a back seat and that he can therefore safely accept his endorsement, without doing the deal with the devil that Tone and Young Dave had to do? Crafty one, Alex. Very crafty.