Over the years that Richard “Dirty” Desmond owned Channel 5, the amount of genuine celebrity on
show for successive series of Celebrity
Big Brother (CBB) went from Very Little to Not Unadjacent To Zero, although
this, of course, had nothing to do with Dirty Des’ allegedly legendary
tightness. But that hasn’t stopped the cheaper end of the Fourth Estate from
speculating wildly over prospective line-ups.
And so it came to pass that the Super Soaraway Currant Bun
splashed what it claimed to be an exclusive: “Big Bruv Jackpot ... Benefits Street Layabout’s Deal ... £100K
CELEBRIDEE”. And, despite the paywall, other papers soon lifted the copy
(see how that works, Rupe?) so we now know just how “exclusive” this non-story really is, which is, as so often, not
very exclusive at all.
The “celebrity”
concerned, Deirdre Kelly aka White Dee, is only a minor sleb through appearing
on reality TV show Benefits Street.
So she is famous for being Herself Personally Now. And, despite the tabloid
assault on her supposedly still claiming benefits while holidaying in Mallorca
and appearing on daytime TV, the Mail
now concedes that she hasn’t been a claimant since March.
She’s found her own and rather unique way back to work, and
the Sun is wrong to call her a “layabout”. So how much is she
(allegedly) getting for CBB? “The
£100,000, reported in The Sun, is said to be one of the largest offered to
a potential guest”. Ho yus? Dacre’s hacks ain’t
read the Mirror: “It is also claimed she will be joined by
Julie Burchill, reported to have been offered £300,000 to take part”.
Ms Burchill, of course, is actually famous for being a
moderately successful journalist and author, unlike another supposedly likely
housemate, Lauren Goodger, who is famous for, er, spray tan, reality TV,
unfeasibly short dresses, and a boob job, though not necessarily in that order.
Helen Flanagan, famous for no longer being on Coronation Street, is another
suggestion.
But what neither Sun,
Mirror nor Mail is telling its readers is that the idea of Deirdre Kelly doing
CBB is not a new one: the Mail told
readers back in February “White Dee in
the house? Channel 5 bosses ‘desperate to sign Benefit Street star’ for the
next series of Celebrity Big Brother”. But the money wasn’t as good: “[she
is set] to rake in a fee of £60k if she
takes part in the next series of the reality TV show”.
And the Mail doubled
down on the speculation a week later: “From
Benefits Street to Celebrity Street: White Dee's set to star on Big Brother -
and even be an MP”. All that the Sun’s claimed “exclusive” tells us is that
the press is as desperate as ever to leverage TV shows – any kind of TV shows –
to flog a few more papers, rather than bother to do anything like real
journalism.
So expect more of the same until CBB actually starts. Tedious Maximus, or what?
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