Guido Fawked – Delingpole Is Dr Evil

Any idea of attention to detail seems to be passing the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines by right now. Perhaps this has something to do with his tame gofer, the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole, having swanned off to Washington DC for the annual convocation of crackpots that is CPAC. Or maybe he is just in what Private Eye would call an overtired state.

Yeah, I did it while I was busy getting pissed, shit no, information on how to get pissed, bollocks no, how to reach the nearest place to get pissed. Oh sod it

Staines has decided that he is an expert on the situation in Ukraine, despite this being a long way from Westminster. His expertise extends so far that he can participate in taking the piss out of the protagonists, and to this end he has picked up on a photo which juxtaposes Dr Evil from the Austin Powers films and Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Receding man doing air quotes? Who might that be?

Why do they get bracketed together? Because Putin is suffering from the onset of Male Pattern Baldness, and because you can see both characters doing what are known as “air quotes”. This proves that the Russian Prez is a proxy for Dr Evil. And that means that he is A Very Bad Man Indeed. “Can we just throw Putin a freaking bone here” observes The Great Guido.

But Staines has suffered a memory lapse: who’s the first name that comes to mind when the subject is suffering from the onset of Male Pattern Baldness and has a propensity to ostentatiously use “air quotes”? It ain’t Vladimir Putin. Think of those priceless words used with the quotes: “Gay marriage ... global warming ... bird-slicing, bat-chomping eco crucifixes”.

That's who it might be, that's who

Yes, the rapidly receding purveyor of those “air quotes” is none other than Staines’ bosom buddy James “saviour of Western civilisation” Delingpole, who is also at the RWNJ-fest that is CPAC, no doubt savouring the largesse of those who have, for whatever reason, thrown their money at Breitbart London before push comes to shove and they want something in return.

Still, good to see The Great Guido confirm that his pal is the reincarnation of Dr Evil. Another fine mess, once again.