The Twat In The Hat

Smear campaigns are nothing new. So the discovery by the Sunday People that such a device had been employed against Nigella Lawson will have surprised very few. But the revelation that the same PR consultant shilled for both Charles Saatchi and the Grillo sisters may just raise a few eyebrows. And the further news that he crossed the line from spin to forthright dishonesty won’t help his cause.

Richard Hillgrove - not selling any motahs any time soon

Acting for both now-former husband and personal assistants was one Richard Hillgrove. Who he? Well, he runs Hillgrove PR, who claim to be “specialists in both corporate and individual brand management and public relations”. And in his time, Hillgrove has met a number of well-known people, with whom he gives the impression of enjoying having his photo taken.

Another “feature” of the carefully crafted Hillgrove persona is an oversize hat. Perhaps he runs a JR fan club, or has an affinity with the Lone Star State. More likely is that he has a receding hairline and has overcompensated by cultivating a beard and teaming it with that silly headgear. Don’t do it Dick: get yourself a hair transplant, an Irish Jig, or own up to the fact that it’s falling out.

Whatever his own image problem, it is as nothing to the potential embarrassment that his still-extant blogpost on Nigella could pose for the future of his business. Titled “Nigella Lawson and her publicist Mark Hutchinson have committed a massive fraud on the British Public”, there is little subtlety in the accusations made. “Drug dealers even used to visit the Saatchi household” is how he gently kicks it off.

And then comes “Knowing that a paparazzi on the street was capturing the embarrassing scenes at an outside table at Scotts where the couple sat for a cigarette, Nigella Lawson feigned distress for the camera so it might look like an attack rather than a drug melt down. She is even seen in several pictures looking straight into the camera, fully aware of how the pictures might and need to look”.

Nice, eh? Then he ventures into the realms of true fantasy: “Charles Saatchi ... was protecting Nigella Lawson and shielding her by accepting a Police caution so the scrutiny would quickly go away about what really lay behind the pictures at Scotts ... At that point, Mr. Saatchi thought they were still happily married and he was doing what any husband would do”. Bullshit. The marriage was finished.

One of those who Hillgrove has been snapped with is Tone’s former chief spinmeister Alastair Campbell. Hillgrove may recall what Big Al said about becoming the story – well, Dick, you have now become the story. And it’s no use deleting that post, when so many people have screenshotted it. Nigella has come out of this stronger than ever, your man lost, and now your business may go the same way.

And all that will then remain will be you. The twat in the hat.