Boris Has Got To Be Kidding

Another Monday, another £5,000 of “chicken feed” winging its way from the Maily Telegraph to London’s occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, who gives the impression that he has been supping some rather strong stuff on his all-conquering tour of the Southern Hemisphere. Because Bozza has decided that, despite that Commons defeat, we can still go and bomb Syria.

“The delayed attack on Syria is good for Britain – and the PM ... By postponing military action, MPs did the right thing – and paid tribute to David Cameron” he blusters. So let’s get this right: all those Tories who voted with Labour, or just remained seated while their colleagues trooped through the lobbies, were actually part of a Young Dave tribute act.

If that sounds bloody daft, that may be because it is indeed bloody daft. Moreover, there was no vote to postpone anything – the vote was against military action, and on top of that, Cameron confirmed that there wasn’t going to be any. This was underscored yesterday morning by his next door neighbour Gideon George Oliver Osborne, heir to the Seventeenth Baronet, on The Andy Marr Show (tm).

But that does not concern Bozza, whose paper, by the most fortunate of coincidences, has decided that there is pressure for Cameron to go for another Commons vote, citing – surprise, surprise – their own columnist’s opinion as a reason to do so, thus emulating the modus operandi of Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse).

Both Bozza and front page lead push the line that another vote, backed by better evidence from weapons inspectors, can only be a good thing for Cameron, and therefore bad news for Mil The Younger and all those rotten lefties. This may, to many Tories, sound too good to be true, and that is because it is. It is simplistic to the extent that it relies on believing the Tel’s own spurious narrative.

Going for another vote, by implication, admits that the first one was needlessly rushed, and that someone didn’t bother to get in step with the Americans. It would also mean Cameron, Osborne and also William ‘Ague going back on their word, something that would not be easily explained in a Commons debate. And it would not allow the Tories to lay a finger on Miliband.

Why so? Well, Mil The Younger has not ruled out military action in principle. So a second vote carries no significant downsides for the Labour leadership. But it carries a veritable minefield full of them for the Tories. And the Tel, along with Bozza, wants them to go ahead and do it. This tells me that, however badly I think the Coalition might be doing, I’d rather it was them than Tony bloody Gallagher.

Still, it gives him something to stuff in his paper of a morning, so that’s all right, then.