Littlejohn’s Pretend Guardian

Roaring back to the Daily Mail fold today – inasmuch as waddling can be so described – has come the talentless and unfunny churnalist Richard Littlejohn, whose chosen target, as so often, is the deeply subversive Guardian. The sage of Vero Beach is not at all happy that Alan Rusbridger and his team have shown insufficient concern for his mate Jim Davidson.

The Guardian, Guv? They talk funny, innit?!?

“The Guardian has spent most of this week howling with outrage about the detention at Heathrow airport of the partner of one of its journalists” he protests, demonstrating that he cannot tell the difference between newspapers that “howl with outrage” as they supposedly report the news – like the Mail – and those, like the Guardian, that simply report the news and separate out the comment.

“He was in possession of classified material provided by U.S. defector Edward Snowden” protests Dicky Windbag, although he doesn’t know what David Miranda was carrying – just like all the other wannabe intelligence “experts”. But there is a point to the rambling discourse, and that is that Littlejohn is convinced that the Guardian does not deserve our sympathy, as it didn’t support his mates.

“When the homes of tabloid journalists were raided and ransacked at 6am by detectives investigating alleged phone hacking, there wasn’t a peep of protest from this self-appointed sentinel of civil liberties” he wails. Once again, he fails to understand the separation of news and comment, and has managed to miss a Comment Is Free piece by his old mucker Neil “Wolfman” Wallis.

Had the Guardian not cared, it certainly wouldn’t have given Wallis houseroom. But Littlejohn has now planted in readers’ minds the idea that the Guardian is on the wrong side. Having achieved this, he moves the discussion to Jim Davidson, who is asserted to have been “treated like an international terrorism suspect”. How can you tell someone’s being treated like a terrorism suspect? Don’t ask.

From a photo of Davidson’s house being searched, Dick moves effortlessly on to talk of a “witch-hunt”, and that while it was OK to have gone after Stuart Hall – Cos He Done It – he’s not sure about Dave Lee Travis, and hints that the case against Jimmy Tarbuck and Rolf Harris may be a bit shaky (why? Nudge, wink, don’t ask about that one either). And don’t forget about the Guardian (he hasn’t).

“One might have hoped that the Guardian would extend the same support to Jim Davidson as they have to their own man. But while Miranda has the right credentials — gay, fashionably Brazilian, Left-wing, anti-American, anti-British — Jimbo ticks all the wrong boxes”. Where to start? “He who is not with my pal Jim, he is against him”. The Guardian is caught bang to rights doing proper journalism.

Dicky Windbag is making little sense, as usual. No wonder comments are closed.