Dacre Doubly Dishonoured

The time of year when the Queen’s Birthday Honours are announced has arrived. Singer Adele and comedy actor Rob Brydon have been awarded MBEs. Everyone’s favourite sporting presenter Clare Balding gets an OBE, as does Christian Horner, main man at F1 title winning Red Bull Racing. Rowan Atkinson gets a CBE. And his Blackadder co-star Tony Robinson gets a knighthood.

Where's my f***ing knighthood, c***?!?

But one name is missing, and for the second time this has resulted in a mean spirited hatchet job by the Daily Mail, because that name is none other than the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre. This may be his last chance for recognition before retiring – or being caused to retire – later this year after more than 20 years’ service in support of loudmouths and bullies everywhere.

So, after the 2012 New Year Honours were trashed by the Mail with the headline “Tainted New Year Honours”, the latest omission has brought “Dishonours!” along with a broadside of abuse targeting former Met DAC Sue Akers, the head of Thames Water, someone who donated to the Tory Party, and even Tony Robinson, who is denounced as being a “Labour Luvvie”.

Why are these four being singled out? Well, Robert Collington of Thames Water and businessman Michael Hintze – who has donated to the Tories, which he is entitled to do – are there to make the story look like genuine criticism of the honours system. Tony Robinson is included because anyone who is other than wholly hostile to the Labour Party is fair game for the Dacre attack doggies.

And Sue Akers is there not because of the Victoria Climbié case, but because she was involved in Phonehackgate, and had run Operations Weeting, Elveden and Tuleta. As a result of these, many hacks had been arrested, some of them early in the morning, and although it’s fine in the press’ book to do that to anyone else, doing it to the Fourth Estate is the most heinous of crimes.

On top of all that, Ms Akers also gave evidence to the Leveson Inquiry which did not paint the press in an entirely favourable light. So Dacre has had the payoff line “A former colleague of Miss Akers said: ‘A lot of serving and former officers in the Met will be stunned to hear Sue Akers has been made a CBE. It is fair to say she has had a chequered career’” added at the end.

All of which confirms that Dacre is sore as hell at not being given the K that he believes is rightfully his. His predecessor David English got one, and heck, Max Hastings got one. Even Simon Jenkins got one. Why oh why oh why is there no honour for Dacre? How long must he wait before being created Lord Dacre of the Vagina Monologue? Who will listen to his pleas for recognition?

Sadly, the last answer may be “nobody”. There goes Paul Dacre ... on his way out.