Guido Fawked – New EU Fan

[Update at end of post]

After he and his obedient rabble had struck a suitably Europhobic pose over Nigel Lawson’s call to leave the EU, one might have expected the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines, who styles himself Guido Fawkes, to steer clear of passing any kind of positive comment on anything emanating from the European Parliament. But they sup some strong stuff at Fawkes Towers nowadays.

Yeah, I watched the speech in the pub, shit no, office, while drinking a long G&T, sod it, no, cappuccino, before going on a bender, bollocks no, long lunch. Washed down with half a gallon of beer. Oh sod it

So as the Queen’s Speech Bill was declaimed by Brenda, with Charles also in attendance watching over the assembled Lords and Commons, The Great Guido took particular care to point up the parts of it that met with his personal approval. Nobody actually gives a flying foxtrot what he thinks, of course, but he can at least dream of a punditerati paying homage to Himself Personally Now.

“New employment allowance. Reduction on regulation in business. Patent bill. Consumer rights draft bill. Game changing stuff” Tweeted Staines, showing that he is politically impartial, but only in the kind of way that would be understood by a host at Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse). What Staines was not showing was any breadth in his reading on the subject.

Such as, oh I dunno, today’s press release from the European Commission’s Representation In The United Kingdom, titled “Commission proposes new practical rights for all EU citizens”, those rights “Coinciding with the announcement of UK Consumer Rights Bill (transposition of the EU Consumer Rights Directive) in the Queen's speech today”.

Wait, what? Yes, “these further Commission initiatives look to complement wider EU efforts to protect people as citizens and consumers, for example by building a strong framework for police and judicial cooperation to tackle cross-border crime and by extensive reforms to financial services so taxpayers never again have to pay the bill for massive bank bail-outs”.

So the “Consumer rights draft bill” is in reality the transposition of the EU Consumer Rights Directive. And The Great Guido, arch-Europhobe among arch-Europhobes, has praised it as “Game changing stuff”. Staines has just, albeit in eager anticipation of mellowing out over lunch, sung the praises of the product of an organisation he wants the UK to leave.

Perhaps Paul Staines could figure out where he really stands on the EU before telling everyone else how bad it is. Or maybe how it’s rather good on occasion. Or something. Another fine mess, once again.

[UPDATE 1740 hours: despite never, repeat never, looking in on Zelo Street, Staines' tame gofer, the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole, has taken to Twitter to spin his boss' intervention. Guess what? It was being used sarcastically. Of course it was, Hen.

Apparently I have had a "massive sense of humour failure". That would be an interesting sentiment, had it not come from someone who is unable to take a little ribbing without resorting to his Bumper Book Of Feeble Excuses.

As to the "Loony trainspotter" tag, this means that when presented with a choice of one station to catch my train from, I can make the correct choice, unlike Master Cole, who is so terminally inept he goes to the wrong one and lands himself with a £140 extra charge for another ticket.

Note also that one of Cole's mates from the Adam Smith Institute, that museum of outdated economic thought that has fraudulently appropriated the name of the founding father of economics, has chipped in to remind everyone that the standard of debate at the ASI is down at its usual level.

But good to see that the serially clueless remain so. Another fine mess]