Guido Fawked – No Room To Shout Liar

After the downfall of Chris Huhne, nowhere was the triumphalism and cat-calling louder than at the Guido Fawkes blog, where the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines, supported by the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole and newly anointed teaboy Alex Wickham, proceeded to lay in to the former minister and trowel on accusations of serial dishonesty on his part.

Facts? Shit, that's a bit of a heavy idea, I'll have to give it a thought when I get back to the pub, oh crap no, office. Yeah, when I crack open the beer, bollocks, no, coffee. And rum. Oh sod it

“He Lied and Lied and Lied” mocked The Great Guido, as Staines and his rabble attempted in the retelling to convince the world that it was them wot got him. This may have got past the less discerning observer, but by this time many will have heard the bullshit detector ringing long and loud. Because Staines and Cole know all about lying, and not merely from observing others doing it.

Staines was noted to be “playing fast and loose with the truth” back in 2003 – about the time that Huhne made his fateful journey from Stansted Airport home to south London. This was when The Great Guido’s earlier career as a City trader collapsed in acrimony, legal action and eventual bankruptcy. Telling whoppers was a habit that Staines had difficulty kicking, too.

I can't be lying, cos I'm on telly!

His ability to creatively re-imagine the traffic garnered by the Fawkes blog was another example of Staines’ habit of not so much being economical with the facts, but disposing of them altogether when they proved inconvenient. The reality of those “stat porn” numbers was comprehensively exposed by the serially tenacious Tim Ireland of Bloggerheads fame. No action was taken by the often litigious Staines.

But then Staines got wise about telling whoppers: he got a chap to do it for him. And he did not have to look far to find an individual who was even less principled, and more prone to blatant dishonesty, than himself. Thus he came to employ the services of the odious Cole, whose apprenticeship in the dispensing of porkies with intent had been completed earlier, at Edinburgh University.

There, the flannelled fool had stood for the presidency of Edinburgh University Students’ Association (EUSA), and called upon his opponents to sign a “clean campaign pledge”. He denied that an attack blog (called “EUSAless” ho ho ho) had anything to do with him. He lied. It was being run by his campaign. Only when caught bang to rights did Cole admit his involvement.

Cole then deployed another art much beloved by the Fawkes blog, that of spin. His campaign let it be known that he had been “quite brave” to come clean, which was also flagrantly dishonest. He had been caught and had no alternative but to admit the obvious. And now he is smugly sitting in judgment on Chris Huhne, sharing a very draughty glasshouse with Staines.

These hypocrites have no room to call anyone for lying. Another fine mess.