Super Soaraway Daily Bozza

As I’ve noted previously, the now freesheet and correspondingly downmarket Evening Standard abandoned any idea of impartiality during the London Mayoral elections and effectively became the London Daily Bozza, such was its fawning support for occasional Mayor Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. And now, that uncritical worship of the Blond has gone national.

Because Rupe’s downmarket troops at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun have clearly been instructed to ditch the last vestiges of support for Young Dave – who caused them yet more grief by setting up the Leveson Inquiry – and transfer their allegiance to Bozza. Why should this be? Ah well, but reason and rationale need not enter. It’s a bit like Life Of Brian – it’s ‘cos it’s written, that’s why.

So while Trevor Kavanagh, he of famous last words like “the Sun is not a swamp that needs draining” – uttered just before yet more arrests of hacks and hangers on at the, er, Sun – is away from the office, his deputy Tom Newton Dunn (another of those “posh boys” so disliked by Nadine Dorries, and another with form for workplace bullying) has stepped into the breech.

Oo-er! Cripes!! Down, Percy!!!

“Free sarnies are gone – now it’s time to earn a crust” thunders TND, making even less sense than the average Sun hack. Ah, but this is about “The Prêt à Manger problem”. Which is what, exactly? Well, this comes from Bozza observing that he noticed very few Brits working there. Yes, like any good empirical Bozza research, it isn’t. Did this get backed up by any figures? Did it heck.

So does Tom Newton Dunn provide those figures that Bozza so carelessly mislaid? Nope. But he does rant on about all those under 24 who are unemployed, and concludes that many of them should be working at Prêt, and that they aren’t doing so because they either can’t be arsed – all those generous benefits being showered on them, don’t y’know – or aren’t good enough.

And from there, TND segues neatly into Bozza’s declaration that he’s setting up an enquiry into why all these dastardly foreigners are getting work while Brits are not, which should make for interesting reading, given its premise is built on a sum total of zero credible research. Most likely it will get quietly filed away next to Bozza’s equally fatuous “driverless Tube trains” rubbish.

But the exercise does allow the Sun to talk up the occasional Mayor: “That’s what you get with Boris. Unlike the ever-wobblier David Cameron, he’s not scared of focus groups, oddball svengali advisors, control freak mandarins, his party’s Right wing, or Nick Clegg. He just gets on with being Boris”. Which means what, exactly? We’ve got lots of folk out of work. How does Bozza being himself change things?

That is not told. But the Sun’s new hero is talked up, so that’s all right, then.