Glenda Foot In Mouth Alert!

Whether by accident or design, the Daily Mail does seem to attract the Glendas. Those of us who look in on The Andy Marr Show (tm) know all about at least one of them, Amanda Platell, who appears on That Sofa far too often for the safety of thousands of televisions around the country. And then there is the cringe-inducing attention seeking of Liz Jones.

What she actually looks like

But when you want a Glenda that can effortlessly open mouth and insert boot, it just has to be Jan Moir, trouper extraordinaire, and still living down having been at the front of the cab rank when her legendarily foul mouthed editor demanded that the memory of Boyzone singer Stephen Gately be given a ritual trashing. And today she has turned her fire on the Duke of Edinburgh.

Prince Philip, bless him, may be turned 90, but he still turns out to support the Queen as she embarks on her Diamond Jubilee year. And he lets slip the odd gaffe now and then, which is generally harmless and keeps the hacks and pundits awake. This, though, is not enough for Ms Moir, who has rounded on the Greek and rather disrespectfully called him an “Old goat”.

Many may not have picked up on the meaning of this phrase, but anyone who has done their recent political history will recognise the characterisation as one given to former Prime Minister David Lloyd George. LG was called an “old goat” for one reason and one alone, that he, even well into middle age, was notorious for chasing after younger and apparently available women.

Indeed, he is reputed to have used the brief and to-the-point chat-up line of “Well, yes or no?” when a female took his eye. One might have hoped that Dacre’s bevy of Glendas could have bothered to check that they would not get Prince Philip confused with LG, but that might have meant doing some research, and research, as I’ve noted on so many occasions, is anathema to such people.

And Moir uses language elsewhere in her rant that verges on the quaint: the young woman with the zip-front skirt who provoked the Duke into his latest off-piste comment is described as being “in a receiving line”. Receiving line? What is this, a debutante’s sodding ball? She was watching the Royals walk past like thousands of others. Receiving line my arse.

Then Moir goes one better and suggests that Phil was suffering a shortage of chivalry. And that he should have been showing some respect. Hell’s teeth, he’s doing well just to be putting in all that walking at his age, whether you support the Royals or not. When Moir talks of him being “109 going on gaga”, she’s skating on very thin ice, the ridiculous Glenda that she is.

Still, it keeps her awake and out of trouble. So that’s all right, then.