Staines And The Moron

[Update at end of post]

CNN, where the appalling Piers “Morgan” Moron is currently hosting the 9pm ET weekday slot, has confirmed that the Great Man will be appearing before the Leveson Inquiry next week. As Moron was editor not only of the Daily Mirror, but also the Screws, interest is bound to be intense. And, true to form, there are those trying to make capital from the event.

Trying their best to barge their way to the front of this queue are the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his tame gofer Henry Cole, the Laurel and Hardy of the blogosphere, at the Guido Fawkes blog. To this end, they are pushing the letter sent to Leveson by the Sunlight Centre for Open Politics – a front organisation intended to make the less than dynamic duo look worthy as they go after those they dislike.

What the less fortunate may see

This, as with everything the Fawkes blog has published about Moron, brings no new information to the table and the post concludes with suggesting that Leveson should ask how Moron heard one of Paul McCartney’s voicemails. But we know the answer: because Neil “Wolfman” Wallis, then at the Mirror’s sister title the People, played it to him. Whether Moron is prepared to finger Wallis is doubtful.

Is this the closest we get?

And if Staines and Cole are expecting instant judgment on Moron’s past, they will be disappointed, whether he gives evidence under oath or not. He will be well briefed and well prepared, something the less than dynamic duo can only claim when they are frequenting parties or other watering holes: their recent flagrantly made up story about goings on in the Kensington and Chelsea constituency is typical.

What d'you mean, "not that kind of oath"?

Moreover, there is Staines’ own appearance before Leveson to come, which, as I pointed out recently, may not turn out as the Great Guido might like. As he contemplates the event, Staines might also like to consider that his pals at the Daily Mail came top of the Motorman charts, although he refuses to mention them in the context of illegal information gathering.

Never mind, though, perhaps if they ask Moron nicely he will give the less than dynamic duo a signed photo. That’s about the level of attention they merit on the basis of the original evidence they have thus far produced. Another fine mess, indeed.

[UPDATE 16 December 1620 hours: it now appears that Moron will be giving his evidence by video link from Los Angeles. This figures, given CNN expect him to deliver his 9pm ET show every weekday, but the news has caused significant distress to Staines and Cole.

In an updated post which still misses the name of Neil "Wolfman" Wallis, the less than dynamic duo whine "Leveson should tell him to get on a plane", demonstrating their superior level of influence.

Then, desperately flailing, they carp "Morgan needs to be in the room with one hand on the bible", apparently unaware that he will be in the room - that being a studio in LA - and that in the USA, one has no difficulty finding a bible.

All of which merely confirms their cluelessness, and that they won't even get that signed photo. Another fine mess, once again]