Koo! Fat Dick Gets Fisked

Victim of a personal recession

Today’s Daily Mail, apart from the usual welter of agenda-fitting copy from the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre’s obedient array of overmonied hacks, contains another minimally researched column from the increasingly folically-challenged Fat Dick Littlejohn.

And, among the routine selection of targets for the Gerald Ratner of tabloid pundits is former sleb and royal squeeze Koo Stark. Sadly, Ms S has fallen on hard times recently, but then so have many whose fifteen minutes ended many years ago: few folks will be interested.

This minor problem does not trouble Fat Dick, who asserts “We are invited to feel sorry for Koo Stark”. We are? You and who else, Dicky boy? Whatever. There’s more: “the former squeeze of the Duke of Pork, who is reduced to claiming housing benefit”. Cor! That’s a larf, innit?!? York ... Pork ... geddit?!?

Er, sorry to rain on your slow moving parade, Dick, but accusations of freeloading coming from someone who trousers close to a mil a year just by churning out recycled bigotry means you’re standing in an awfully large greenhouse, so think on before you start the brick chucking.

But the alleged humour continues: “Koo appears to be skint, despite a couple of divorce settlements, including one from a Green Shield stamps heir. Maybe he paid her off in stamps. Only another five million and she’ll have enough for a toaster”. Laugh? I thought I’d never start. Is that it?

Oh dear, he’s not finished.

“She was living in a suite at the Carlton Tower hotel, in Knightsbridge, for the past couple of years. I thought that level of accommodation was only available to Afghan asylum seekers”. Woah! E’s a dahmond geeza eh? Ass tellin’ them poxy forners innit?!?

Thus the truly liberating effect of Grubstreet’s finest learning how to copy and paste. Cuts out thinking.