Nadine Appears In The Mirror

“I have forwarded your email on to my lawyer”. Thus the last words in reply to the Mirror from (yes, it’s her again) Tory MP Nadine Dorries, who has found herself in today’s paper for what, as a serving Parliamentarian, are all the wrong reasons. But the response is typical Dorries: if in doubt, threaten legal action. As if it will make a jot of difference to the Mirror.

The headline sums it up well: “Mystery of Nadine Dorries MP, her millionaire landlord and the internet glamour model”, although Sunday Mirror political editor Vincent Moss has been positively restrained when describing Romanian single mum Ramona Ladin (I say, is this one of those joke names? – Ed) as a “glamour model”. I reckon that it would be more accurate to call her a sex worker.

So what’s the connection? Simples. Nadine Dorries’ business partner Andy Rayment, who, with his wife, owns the house she lives in, is also the business partner of Ramona Ladin, and by mere coincidence also owns the house she lives in. The Dorries business, Averbrook, was the subject of last week’s Standards Committee report which led to her having to apologise to the Commons.

The business run by Rayment and Ms Ladin is called Hairflair. Ramona is a qualified hairdresser (with an NVQ level 2, no less) who visits her clients in her smart red BMW 1-Series. And if you delve a little deeper, you find a fling.com profile that offers “Fetish, Groupsex, Sexual relations, Online flirting, Other”, which suggests that the word “Blow” may not in this case be coupled with “Wave”.

Nor, I suspect, does hairdressing necessitate “My new 32E boobs”. And, while many will be hearing a young Eric Idle saying “personal hairdressing, nudge nudge, wink wink, Say No More”, she says of Rayment “He is a really good family friend. If I need something I will call him and he will help me”. As for the fragrant Nadine, “She has a good heart ... She is my best friend”. Well, well.

So go on Nads, spin that one: “Andy and Ann Rayment are two of my closest friends. They own a large number of properties in Bedfordshire which they let out. I do not believe I have ever met anyone called Ramona Ladin. I do not believe that someone I have no recollection of having met has told you she is my best friend”. Ho yus. And, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here.

One, she and Ms Ladin can’t both be telling the right tale. And two, she just told that Parliamentary Standards Inquiry this: “My business partners, who have nothing to do with me personally—he is just a business partner, with his wife”. You can’t be “closest friends” and have “nothing to do” with them at the same time. So that’s a potential misleading of Parliament to boot.

There is more to come on this story. Good fun, but maybe not for Nadine Dorries.