Nothing better illustrates the detachment from reality afflicting the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker than the fantasy world inhabited by the Sun’s singularly unpleasant editor Tony Gallagher. Obedient propagandist for the Murdoch mafiosi, cordially detested by those who have to suffer his professional company, ridiculed by media observers, taking solace in amateur gastronomy and expensive season tickets, that’s our Tone.
And nothing better illustrates Gallagher’s grovelling to Creepy Uncle Rupe, and his tin ear when it comes to realpolitik, like today’s edition of the Super Soaraway Currant Bun. His front page lead makes no sense at all, and a much-trailed bonus, which Tone might have thought was incredibly clever, but serves only to show his crass insensitivity and historical ignorance, has put the lid on it in no style at all.
Splashed on today’s front page - alongside Amanda Holden’s nipples - is “Exclusive: PM’s Rallying Cry To Every Sun Reader … Back my Brexit plan … and I’ll back YOU”. Under the by-line of the paper’s non-bullying political editor Tom Newton Dunn, who claims “THERESA May vows to use Brexit to rip up the privileges of the elite and make Britain work for ordinary people again”. Like privileged Sun hacks would know.
What else might the PM offer us? “She will unveil her flagship new industrial strategy next week to start her mission to make the country ‘more equal’”. Yeah, we’ll all be in the shit. As the real elite will be largely insulated from the coming increases in inflation and interest rates - because, being elites, they don’t need to mortgage themselves to the hilt and take out loans for cars and household stuff - this is nothing more than hot air.
That much is bad enough, but then comes Gallagher’s swipe at German newspaper Die Welt, which characterised the attitude of the UK Government to comedy series Little Britain. Tone couldn’t let that pass, and so he’s had a mock-up front page produced in the style of the one that appeared on the day of the 1992 General Election.
This time, instead of then Labour leader Neil Kinnock being lampooned, it’s German Chancellor Angela Merkel, with the headline “Would the last country to leave EU please turn out the lights”. Quite apart from the association with the paper’s disgraced former editor Kelvin McFilth, Gallagher’s ill-advised slice of braggadocio manages to forget that it is echoing one of the most chilling observations on The Great War.
It was Edward Grey, then Foreign Secretary, who remarked on the eve of Britain’s entry into what became known as “The war to end all wars” that “The lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our lifetime”.
What was a crude jibe at Neil Kinnock 25 years ago has been turned into a crass, insensitive, swaggering, warmongering screw-you to the very people from whom Britain needs that deal to secure its future outside the EU - if it has one.
Tony Gallagher, you’re moron. And here’s your arse on a plate. You’re welcome.