Our not at all unelected Prime Minister is off on her travels once more, this time to the USA where tomorrow she will meet the Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, a meeting at which many observers who dislike both of them would still like to be the proverbial flies on the wall. As befits the occasion, the right-leaning part of the Fourth Estate has talked up the meeting, oblivious to the very real prospect that it will serve no useful purpose.
Theresa May has staked the house on showing that she alone can leverage meetings like this to improve Britain’s standing in the world, that pressing on with leaving the EU is nothing to be afraid of, and that no tainting of her reputation will take place merely because The Donald is suggesting the USA might bring back torture, exclude visitors who might be followers of The Prophet, and is still regarded as an ocean-going sex pest.
Many in the press are not troubled by this, with the Murdoch Times being particularly keen to tell “Bullish May tells Trump they can lead the world”. There would, it has to be conceded, be the advantage of stroking Trump’s vanity with such an approach. Even the Guardian is happily proclaiming “May on US mission to seek special deal with President”. At least the i has cautioned “May’s tricky trip to the US”.
The BBC has confined itself to the more prosaic detail: “Theresa May is to vow to renew the UK's special relationship with the US ‘for this new age’ as she prepares to meet Donald Trump for the first time … Mrs May has said her goal is to build on the historic relationship between the two nations, underpinned by their shared values and common interests”. There will be straight talking, we are promised.
But then, what does Trump need to give the UK? We hear that he is an Anglophile, as his mother was Scottish, but he has already prioritised renegotiating NAFTA. Under this Presidency, the USA is set to become both protectionist and isolationist. He tells anyone who will listen that we will be at the front of the line for a trade deal, but he won’t be negotiating it, and nor will he care what it contains.
Let’s put this plainly: Donald Trump is not only a deeply unpleasant man, but a deeply ignorant one. His fans say his ability to do deals will be the key to a successful Presidency - yet many of the deals he has made in the past have resulted in Chapter 11 bankruptcy. He spends much of his time alone, watching the TV, and all too often believing what he is served up by Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse).
In this he resembles not a great and successful businessman, but a latter-day Chauncey Gardiner, an empty being spewing out simplistic platitudes which the easily led - and the less principled shysters with whom he has surrounded himself - interpret as the product of great wisdom, patriotism, business acumen, and a new and original take on today’s realpolitik. Those shysters will decide what he gives Theresa May.
And then it will all have to pass Congress, which might look rather different after the next mid-term elections. Once again, our Prime Minister’s magical ability is being talked up, but with no rational expectation of success. Trump will not be our post-Brexit magic bullet.