Continuing its campaign to slag off anything and everything EU related, the Super Soaraway Currant Bun has enlisted the services of Europhobe Tory MP Bill Cash to impart such gems as “there are many people who wish to return to traditional imperial measurements and there is no reason on Earth why they should not be allowed to do so, alongside metric”, which is good of him, because that’s what happens right now.
More old and pointless campaigns recycled for profit
Old Bill (for it is he) tells readers “The fanatics and bureaucrats - who are often the same thing - wanted to persecute shopkeepers just for using imperial measurements their customers understood”. No Bill, the so-called “Metric Martyrs” were prosecuted - rightly - for using illegal scales. The potential of short measure, Bill, you remember - that was what brought us Weights and Measures laws, a long time before the EU?
Cash sets the tone; the Sun then rounds off with “10 OTHER WAYS TO SAY UP YOURS TO EU”. Not that they’re recycling “UP YOURS, DELORS”, you understand.
So let’s take the 10 Sun “Ways To Say Up Yours” one at a time.
1 The Sun is calling for the return of blue Brit passports, ditched for EU-backed burgundy.
Why? Will a blue passport make me more British? Is this to make Rupert Murdoch - who has a blue passport - feel better? Pointless.
2 Restore our once-proud fishing industry, scrapping tough EU quotas.
Will more fish miraculously appear? Well, no they won’t. So there would still be “tough quotas”. Unless fishermen were allowed to land as much fish as they could trawl out of the seas, in which case there would soon be no fish, and no industry.
3 Axe EU-imposed VAT on gas and electric for cheaper energy bills.
VAT on gas and electricity was imposed by a UK Government. A Conservative one. You know, Sun hacks, the kind you support.
4 Have cleaner carpets by swapping weak, EU-regulated vacuums for powerful ones.
Vacuum cleaners that comply with the 1600 Watt limit are not “weak”. They are efficient - hey, I could say that without using quote marks, because it’s a fact, not some drivel made up by a Sun hack! And the UK voted for that regulation, which is mainly about saving energy - in other words, energy efficiency. You know, saving Sun readers money.
5 Have drier hair by avoiding planned EU energy rules on powerful hairdryers.
See 4. Sun hacks might be paid so much that they don’t need to bother saving energy and therefore money, but their readers aren’t.
6 Defend our morning tea and toast by using appliances free of energy constraints.
I don’t have tea and toast in the morning. And if I did, kettles and toasters that meet current and even future EU standards would not have a problem with it.
7 See the light by bringing back the incandescent bulb, phased out by EU regs.
What would be the point? The incandescent bulb is inefficient and obsolete, and the rest of the world has already moved on. But like Sun journalists, then.
8 Reclaim “jam”, as the EU says less than 60 per cent sugar means it’s a “fruit spread”.
I can buy jam - without the quote marks - at Aldi right now. I don’t need to reclaim anything.
9 Recycle tea bags, which a council banned amid EU fears over spreading disease.
Why would anyone want to recycle tea bags? Plus if a council banned the recycling, it was nothing to do with the EU.
10 Reclaim countryside from turbines and solar panels, built to meet EU targets.
Why should we abandon the country’s energy generating capacity? What would be the point? Even more dependence on imported fossil fuels? All that would be left - well, apart from the environmental damage, which the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker couldn’t care less about - would be lots of unused countryside. It would be a pointless waste of money. Bit like re-hiring Rebekah Brooks just so she can spend all day networking, then.
Vote to leave the Sun - just as millions of ex-readers have already done. Up yours, Rupe.