Fart in lift Inquiry detects ring of truth
In order to secure More And Bigger Paycheques For Themselves Personally Now, the Fawkes folks dispensed titles including Picture Of The Year, Tweet Of The Year, Loser Of The Year, Brass Neck Of The Year, Diet Of The Year, Stitch-Up Of the Year, Junket Of The Year, Resignation Of The Year and Piggies Of The Year. And, as I’ll be pointing out, they might as well have awarded each and every one of them to themselves.
Picture Of The Year: Staines trying unsuccessfully to focus at the Res Publica IoD bash, due to his being Elephant’s Trunk and Mozart.
Tweet Of The Year: Staines’ tame gofer, the odious flannelled fool Henry Cole, confirming that The Great Guido is in the pocket of Creepy Uncle Rupe.
Diet Of The Year: the one Staines failed to even begin, hence his ungainly and corpulent state. His pal Cole at least made an effort.
And Finally … Piggies Of The Year: The Great Guido himself for increasing the number of bellies available to Himself Personally Now.